Since the Beginning of Time: Husbands and Wives

While reading Every Woman in the Bible by Sue and Larry Richards, the Lord pulled me from the pages to digest what I was reading. Let me interrupt here for a second to explain myself to those of you who don’t know me: I am a knowledge nerd. Truly.
I like to know the how and why of things, and I collect that knowledge like a hoarder collects dolls, stamps, newspapers, etc. But it takes me a lot of time to sit in the Word and truly sort through all that clutter in my head and find the floor, the grounded knowledge that God wants me to see. I think He likes for me to triumphantly (but, ya know, in my head) shout, “There it is! I see it!” while digging further in his Word to continue clearing off that cluttered floor I call my brain. And then there’s a great big revelation of wisdom just like the clean spaces that suddenly appear through TV magic on Hoarders. Also, I teach reading and writing to middle school kids, so just go with me on this metaphor stuff, ok? I really like them.
So… book… women in the Bible… ah, yes… Here I am back to the grounded knowledge God has given me. Please, sit down and sort through this with me.
This is the Scripture I’m studying from Genesis 3:
So the Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, Cursed are you above all livestock and all wild animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life.
And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head and you will strike his heel.”
To the woman he said, “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”
To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’ “Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life.
It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you are and to dust you will return.”


Now, this book points out that the serpent who hosted Satan is specifically cursed, but Adam & Eve receive just (in both senses of the word) consequences for their actions. So, ya know, praise the Lord for that! But the consequences are physical, psychological, societal, and spiritual. (umm… ouch)
Because we 21st-century folks are children of these fallen parents, we must live with these consequences, too. Our childbirth becomes more painful; our urge to please men (including, but not limited to, sexually) becomes greater than our urge to please God; our roles become subservient to men rather than equal partners since men bend Eve’s actions into something it wasn’t (i.e., not a beguiling of a man with her feminine wiles) and cast her as a partner in crime with Satan; and our understanding of who we are as daughters of God becomes distorted now that we’re always seeking to please him over Him.
Ain’t that something? When we lose focus on God, we lose who we really are. When we lose focus on God, we allow our husbands to play that role and usurp God’s dominion over our lives. When we lose focus on God, we repeat Eve’s sin all over again.
In another post, I’ll address the man’s consequences because of Adam’s sin. This is a lot of knowledge to handle. It was deep stuff that hit me hard. So hard that I had to stop what I was doing and write this.
I pray my next step, and yours, is to sit down and categorically, painstakingly list those ways in which you place your husband over God. Just like a hoarder has to sit down and sort through every single piece of trash they own to find the stuff worth keeping and the stuff worth chucking.
Think of all those times you didn’t go to church because your husband didn’t want to but you really did. Think of all those times you really wanted to do something financial for another person but your husband said, “No,” so you didn’t. Think of all those times you felt like God maybe possibly was tugging you along, and you decided to listen to your husband instead.
Now, if your husband is a God-fearing man, then we all pray that he’s seeking the Lord’s will for y’all’s life (one life because y’all are one person now that you’re married). But remember… he’s still a man, and men sin. We sin. We have to remind ourselves and ask the Holy Spirit to convict us when we are putting our husbands and his desires over God and God’s plan for our marriages/lives/families/etc.
This, my dear friends, is my prayer for you this week: Lord, let us be guided by You. Let us look for Your face. Let us love You before our husbands, because we know, Lord, that You are love and Your Love will teach us and enable us to love our husbands. Bless my sisters in Christ who are seeking Your face, Lord. Bless them with knowledge and wisdom, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

💚 Melanie McNeil-Samac, guest writer for WifeCode828

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