Are We Playing Games With Submission?

I had a really hard time just letting the Spirit guide me on what I should talk about this week. I mean, there is so much I want to talk about but trying to get it to make sense isn’t always possible for me. I will start writing and then start to wonder what our super adorable kitten is doing (his name is Sam, he’s a Siamese just in case you were wondering). Or I wonder what my 18 month old might be getting into this time or if I remembered to make sure my oldest daughter put on clean underwear when she got dressed this morning. Anyways, so as I struggled with just staying focused all week. My husband and I just happen to stumble into an argument over hanging curtain rods… at 10 o’clock at night!

You see, we had painted our whole living room. I sat on the couch that night at 10 o’clock and got a wild hair up my… well my behind, to put up the brand new curtain rods because I was tired of looking at the blinds. Me being me, jumped up, grabbed all the equipment, looked at my husband and said “Here you go! Let’s do this thing!”. I didn’t even ask. The baffled look on his face was like what? He looked over at the clock and just stared at me. So I proceeded to get mad because he didn’t want to do it right then, he wanted to wait until tomorrow. Patience is clearly something I really need work on, especially with my husband. I love him to death, but he is the biggest procrastinator I know! Who’s with me? Anyways, I threw a fit and got my way. Now my beautiful curtains are hanging up in my super cute, freshly painted living room. I went to sleep happy. Let’s scratch that. My brain may have went to bed happy and accomplished, but my spirit was feeling pretty convicted.

Why couldn’t I just submit to my husband and allow him to do it tomorrow. When he wouldn’t be tired and when he wouldn’t be mad at the drill for not drilling the screw in the wall. Then somehow it becomes my fault because I’m the one who made him do it?

So when I woke up thinking “I really need to get this blog written”, I was struck with exactly what to write about. WIVES SUBMITTING TO THEIR HUSBANDS. Are you panicked yet? I know when some read this, a lot of women are thinking “not gonna happen” or “great”. I may not have enjoyed sleeping with that feeling of conviction, BUT I am grateful for this opportunity to expand my knowledge and steer my path more towards the will of God! I have to add that I’ve actually been doing a lot of research on this topic lately because as I’ve mentioned, I feel it’s something I really need to work on and I like research when I’m doing nothing in the evenings. This is a topic I don’t take very lightly, and don’t want to steer anyone towards information that is not Biblical. So let’s dig in shall we?

Ephesians 5:22-25 says:
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Let me start out by saying that unless you submit yourself to the Almighty Creator, you will never be able to submit to your husband. This applies in all other aspects of life as well. We must submit to God’s will in order to obey Him. LEARN what the scripture is saying, and APPLY what you learn to your every day life. When we do this, everything else will come a little bit easier.

When we read scripture about being submissive, it isn’t telling us to submit to a husband/relationship that is domineering, selfish, or abusive. No, no, and let me repeat NO! That is not what it means. It’s actually telling us to submit to our husbands in all things that are right and lawful to God. If something goes against God or the law, we are by no means made to submit to it. Our husbands are to love us like Christ loves the church. A church He loved so much HE DIED FOR IT! With this, submission comes easily.

But let’s face it, when we hear that we’re supposed to submit, we automatically become defensive. We don’t want to be doormats. We don’t want to be inferior (Hello 2015 means rights of women and equality right?). That is why being a submissive wife is becoming so increasingly difficult today. This earthly world teaches us so many lies of how women and wives are supposed to be. I mean as great as the feminist movement was, it certainly brought a lot of backlash and has affected marriages tremendously. Marriages were not as disposable before as they were after. Listen though (before I go on a rant about the feminism movement and make you all think we’re supposed to have no rights and men rule the world), I am telling you biblical submission doesn’t mean you have to be a doormat, it doesn’t make you inferior to men, and it doesn’t make you powerless. It is anything but those things.

I found this really awesome quote in my little research that said:

“The woman was made out of Adam’s side. She was not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved” – Matthew Henry.

What I love so much about this quote is the part about being equal, protected, and near his heart to be loved. Just because we become submissive wives, doesn’t mean we have to lose our identity, or become that doormat this world makes us think we’ll be. Our husbands should listen to our input, they should respect our opinions and they should absolutely take our feelings into consideration. They should treat us with respect.

Again, they are supposed to love us like Christ loves the church (a love our husbands will only gain through God). If your husband is treating you poorly, and treating you in ways that are not biblical or godly, then they are not following God’s commands. Submission will not come easily for you, and he maybe scratching his head wondering why we have a hard time being the godly wife we’re supposed to (hey, have him read this blog if he wants you to be more submissive). Submission is like the saying “it takes two to tango”. It takes work from both people! We shouldn’t be saying “I’m only going to be submissive if you love me like Christ does the church”, and he shouldn’t be saying “I’ll love you like that when you submit”. That’s not going to get you anywhere. Remember when we join the marital covenant that our God so graciously created, we become ONE. So to be that one, we both must be putting in the effort to enjoy the benefits.

So with that being said, the next time I want to hang curtains at 10 o’clock at night and my husband tells me no, as frustrating as it might be that he doesn’t have my energy and my drive to just get things done, I will just say okay and wait for the next day. The next time there are decisions to be made, I will give my husband my input and allow him to make the final decision (Satan is screaming “wait, what?” right now). I might not like the result or the decision that is made, but as a God fearing wife, and a wife who wants to have a biblical marriage, this is what God wants me to do. REMEMBER BE SUBMISSIVE TO GOD FIRST! It won’t be easy. I’m a very dominant person. I have a strong opinion and I like to have things my way but this is my new goal! So pray for me… seriously.

Once you’ve read this post I want you all to indulge me in one thing. Close one eye, because you’ll need the other to read this little prayer. Whisper it, scream it, say it in your head, whatever, but say it:

God, I know that in order for me to be submissive, I must submit to you. Right here, right now Lord, I submit myself to you. I submit myself to your Word and your will. Lord help me be the submissive wife you called me to be. Help me not lose myself in this process and get myself confused with the earthly definition of submission. Lord help change my heart into a heart like yours. In Jesus name, Amen.

My prayer this week for anyone who reads this, is that you just TRY. I really don’t believe this is a process that is going to just happen overnight. But with Christ, practice, diligence, and prayer, we can do anything we set our minds to.

Until next time,

💛 Ashley S.