Ok first of all, I loved how the bible actually says this: “The first to speak in court sounds right- until the cross examination begins.” Verse 17 just made me chuckle a little. Maybe it’s a pre-law humor but how true is that statement? The first person to tell a story, or when we were kids and we would run to the adult to tell our side first… The first to speak always sounds right but they aren’t always. Reading the bible first hand, instead of only from what others say or teach about, creates a relationship between you and God. Did you really think such wit about things going on today was in the bible? Most young people, teens and tweens, are always shocked by what they read in the bible. I love the NLT translation, but I’ve said that before. Let’s get into it. The verse I want to hit your soul and make you think deeply on, is verse 19. “An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.” How important is the friendship in marriage? I’ve talked about this in previous posts. Please look through or click categories to find those posts on friendship and marriage. Your husband is your friend. He is supposed to be your best friend. You are to confide in him and spend time with him, as much as possible. You two are doing life together, so it is imperative to invest in the friendship between you.
When you offend your friend it is hard to go back to the way things were before the offense happened. Mark 11:25 & Matthew 5:23-24 both talk about first forgiving or ask for forgiveness before praying to the Lord or presenting a sacrifice. Today we don’t need to present sacrifices. But fasting and praying are things we do today and Jesus said, stop them and go be reconciled first. Dr. Bob Barnes from Parenting on Purpose ministries has an amazing radio show in South Florida, I miss it so much. On his show one day he was talking about how God is our Father, but He is also our Father-in-law. Dr. Bob was quarreling with his wife and had offended her which lead him to think before he started to pray that night. He told us listeners think about it; you are asking for stuff from your Father-in-law after hurting His daughter (your wife). Or for us wives, you’re hurting His son (your husband). Does that make sense? How do you ask for stuff from the parent of the person you’ve offended and haven’t reconciled with them? It’s going to your best friend’s dad and asking for healing or peace etc after hurting their kid. Does that seem right? No. That is why Jesus says go and reconcile. At least attempt reconciliation, the ball is in their court after you try to reconcile. Remember it is hard to gain back what is broken. It can be done through Jesus, but it is a hard road. Think before you speak and act. I want to always remember, my husband is a child of God, so am I. So I must treat him well because his Father is mighty powerful. Same for husbands. My husband must treat me well because my Dad in Heaven is the Creator of the Universe, so don’t make Him mad!
“Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction.” Proverbs 18:20 NLT