My mother-in-law once told my husband and I, “Better to be broke, poor, and in love than to have lots of money and have no love.” She continued, “if you guys have nothing else, nothing at all, but you have each other and all the love in the world for each other… that’s all you need.” She told us this when we first got married and did not want many children because we wanted to make sure we could give our kids everything in the world. My mother-in-law wanted to change our perspective on this topic of kids. First, because she wants lots of grandkids. But second, because we were not to make decisions about children based on giving them everything in the world- stuff! My mother-in-law is right on this and God says it in verse 1. “A dry piece of food with peace and quiet is better than a house full of food with fighting. (NLV)” Focusing on “food” or in most cases, money and gaining money in this world causes us to argue. Whether we have lots of money or not enough, money causes many arguments. When I took Family Law in college, we covered divorce. My professor was a divorce attorney and she was very versed on the topic. I remember the statistics being extremely high for finances being the reason for majority of divorces. Back then, the numbers were higher for financial reasons than adultery. I google searched and read a few different articles on this topic. Couples who argue about money often, more than once a month, increase their risk for divorce by 30 to 40 percent. Now I don’t say that to scare you, I had to put myself in reality as well, but I say this to open our eyes. Being so focused on “food” money, stuff, and temporary satisfactions, will lead to arguments and senseless fighting. It’s better to have nothing, a dry piece of food, crust, or toast than to be filled with everything and have no love in the home. Providing is important but it is not priority. Just because something is important doesn’t make it first priority. When we are driven by money we become fools. Working is good, working hard is great, God tells us to be diligent and responsible. But you must check your motives every now and then. Why are you working so hard? Is it for others or for your self image, self-status? Do you have a quality relationship with those you’re working so hard for? Are you intentionally active in your spouse’s life and interests? Are you showing love daily to your spouse? Are you sincere when you tell your spouse you love them? Knowing you love someone is great, but if we don’t show them and tell them and show sincerity… it’ll grow into a house filled with quarrels. My husband gave me a great quote for this post. He said “What’s the point in having all that “food” and you don’t know the person you’re eating with?” Words to keep near and dear.
“Starting a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so stop before a dispute breaks out.” NLT