Kind words are like honey— sweet to the soul and healthy for the body. (Proverbs 16:24 NLT)
1. Good Communication.
Now I’ve touched on this topic before, but good communication is vital. We all know this, yet we don’t do it. Call me guilty! The way I communicate versus the way my husband communicates couldn’t be further from being the same. The key is to rotate communication styles. On date night or husband & wife night take turns communicating how each other prefers. So, I like to sit in bed with no TV or phones, etc and look into my husband’s face and talk about my day or thoughts. My husband on the other hand prefers to have the TV on, maybe football, and during commercial breaks have deep philosophical thoughts about world events, his day or thoughts. What this means is that sometimes he is going to have to get in bed early and sit with me as we discuss my day, his day, kids, etc. Likewise, sometimes I’m going to have to watch football games or action movies. When the commercials come on, I’ll need to be ready to hear his thoughts and engage with him.
Does this seem odd? Think about it. You get to spend time with him how he most prefers without forcing him to engage conversation how only you desire. This makes for better conversations and less probing and more interest from your husband. When it’s your communication night, you get to feel comfortable and he won’t feel bogged down by always having girl-like conversation. You both rotate communication styles and get what is most comfortable for you. This is also known as compromising. Friends compromise.
Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. (Mark 10:9 NIV)
2. Enjoy Each Other’s Interests
For details on this topic please see Are You Still Dating? Ok I love this one. I love this because it is so true. As girls, we all have that friend that loves to exercise and eat healthy. So when you are hanging out with her, you are more than likely eating lunch at a super healthy spot. Or you have a girlfriend that loves to shop and is a fashionista. When hanging out with her, you are most likely to be found having conversation in the dressing room area of a beloved store. Same goes for our marriages!!! Ok so I have a man that loves to fish! I’m going to have to go fishing people. It is not my most favorite thing, at all, but I will do it because it maintains our friendship and bond. Now we cannot get caught up in the mindset of reciprocation. If we do things to only have them returned, God is not happy. It doesn’t hurt to ask our husbands if they want to join us while we shop or whatever it is that we enjoy as an interest. But we should not get sad, down, or retaliate if they choose not to do what interests us. Pray, pray, pray. God will show your husband that you are making efforts and doing things out of the norm to hang out with him. It is God’s job to change your husband, not your job. Lysa Terkeurst says that in her book Unglued. Loosely quoted “It is not our job to change people. It is God’s job to change people.” The sooner we accept that, the sooner we can be in line with God’s will for our lives. Again, do not retaliate if he does not reciprocate the notions. Pray.
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8 NIV)
3. Vacation Alone Together
Sometimes date night is not enough. Days run so fast and nights even faster. It is best if we vacation for a few days or more with just our husband. It’s good for the mind to be free of our routines. It is good for the soul to be away in a serene, beautiful place. It is good for our relationships to be isolated from other people once in a while like Adam and Eve were in the garden. Unplug and go back to our roots of Adam and Eve. They had no children with them for a time, they spent time with God, they spent intimate time with each other, and all while surrounded by God’s beautiful garden. Let’s do that. But make sure not to talk to any serpents and get trapped by the enemy. Even though the garden was thousands of years ago, the enemy still follows married couples, even on vacation. Always be aware. It may come in the form of an email, calling you back to work or trickery into arguing. Don’t fall for it. Relax, pray together, have morning devotions together, participate in each other’s desired activities, and do whatever you and your man love to do. Amen? Amen!
Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:2-3 NIV)
Be blessed my friends. My prayer is that this post builds and continues the friendships we have in our husbands. Have a great week!